To you…at 18 weeks.

This has been an eventful week. You’ve grown a lot and so have I to be perfectly honest. You’re the length of a bell pepper now and I’m officially resembling a pregnant woman.

I can feel you moving all the time and I’m thinking that might have something to do with the massive amounts of orange juice I’m drinking. You either love listening to music and dance around whenever it’s playing or you hate it and kick me to turn it down. I haven’t quite figured out which yet but I’m going to assume you’re enjoying the variety on our playlist.

The big challenge this week was the business trip I took to the Bay Area. I was only gone for one night but I tell ya, it kicked my butt. I’m not sure if it was the travel or the back to back meetings but I came back completely and totally exhausted. I also discovered a very interesting fact about myself…I have serious issues asking for help.

Because we were only gone for one night, we didn’t check our luggage. Despite knowing better and my boss’ insistence that I do not lift my bag to put it in the overhead compartment, I went ahead and did so anyway. I also carried it up multiple flights of stairs at our B&B. Finally, by the flight home, I caved and asked the nice guy in front of me to help me. I don’t know why the experience caused me such anxiety but it really did. I’m fairly confident that I’m a feminist at heart and the idea of appearing weak or helpless goes against everything I’ve ever been taught. Good in theory, I suppose, but really inconvenient when you’re physically requiring assistance.

On the way home, I sat next to an older man who told me all about his kids and grandkids. We chatted for the duration of the flight and I was relieved when, at the end, he asked if he could help me with my bag. It’s like he sensed my hesitance to ask him for help so he beat me to the punch.

All in all, this was definitely one of those weeks where pregnancy has taught me more about myself. My emotional swings have been noticeable (just ask your father) and I’m realizing that I can’t go along as if nothing is changing. I am, indeed, growing a little human and while it is the most amazing experience in the world, there are also days that it takes its toll on me both physically and mentally. 

I love that you are so active and cannot wait until we find out if God is gracing us with a little boy or a girl. Whatever you end up being, you are loved beyond belief. Stay strong, baby.

Love,

Your mama

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