To you…at 21 weeks.

Dear Nugget,

The weeks are flying by around here. As we close out 21 weeks, I can’t help but remember how it felt the day we found out you were a reality. It feels as if that four week mark happened only yesterday and yet, it was already four months ago. You’re currently about the length of a spaghetti squash – that’s nearly a foot long! You’re also weighing in at just shy of a pound. Wow!

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much our lives are going to change after you arrive. We’ve been warned that we’ll never sleep again which by the way, is a horrible thing to tell a pregnant woman. I mean, it may be true and all, but it’s right up there with “Labor was the most painful experience of my life!” Why would you share this inevitable reality with someone? I just don’t get it and I’ve decided that when I’m on the other side, I’m going to make it all sound like a walk in the park even if it’s not because the mental game is half the battle, right?

Anyway, I digress.

So, aside from the fact that we’ll never sleep again, there are just so many wonderful changes in store for our little household. We find ourselves sitting in awe as we watch Lola embark upon some new adventure and I can only imagine how much time will be spent doing the same with you. For instance, we spent five minutes peeking out the window on Saturday morning as Lola searched around the yard for the oh, so perfect place to take a poo. She finally decided to go right next to a little flower stand but instead of just squatting the way dogs do, she actually propped one leg up on the shelf of the stand (for additional leverage, I guess?) and took care of business. We were laughing so hard tears were streaming down our face.

Now think about it, if we find such amusement out of watching our furbaby go to the bathroom, there’s no doubt we’ll be a lost cause when it comes to everything you do. I find myself admiring pretty post-pregnancy dresses or 4-inch high heels and then thinking, “Why bother?” After this little girl arrives all I’m going to want to do is hibernate inside observing her every move, soaking in her delicious smell, and basking in the wonder that is our baby!”

I can sit here and say that I’m not going to change after you enter the picture. That I’ll still be the fun-loving, adventurous, double-booked woman I am today but I’d be lying. In more ways than one. Because to be perfectly honest, I’ve already changed. I changed the minute your dad and I got married. And again when we bought a house and decided to turn it into a home. And yet again, when we added Lola to the equation. I quickly transitioned from the girl who couldn’t pass up an invitation to a social gathering to a complete and total homebody who longs for Friday nights with nothing to do.

And I wouldn’t go back for the world.

I love the little life we’ve established for ourselves. I love being a wife, focusing on my family and career, and snuggling with my furbaby at every chance I get. I still adore my friends but I’ve found that some friendships have endured this transition better than others. I used to feel guilty for not being everyone’s best friend anymore but somewhere along the way, that changed too. Now, I apply the Dr. Seuss saying, “those who matter don’t mind while those who mind don’t matter” when feelings of guilt wash over me. The way I see it, these other women have created really full lives of their own as well. Their calendars are also filled with careers, babies, boyfriends, husbands, dogs, cats, and everything else they love. And so, we get together for a walk, brunch here and there, and the occasional phone call to catch up.

Don’t get me wrong. There are still the “constants” in our lives and you will have family and friends who know your ins and outs as well as we do. In fact, your dad was just saying that you and your cousin Riley are going to be mini versions of your Aunt Jen and me and the thought warmed my heart instantly. And they’ll be so many other cousins, aunts, and uncles to add to the picture as well.

One thing is for certain, while we may be total homebodies, you will not be lacking for love or adventure. We will keep you all filled up, little girl!

I’m loving the fact that you are becoming more and more of a reality everyday.

Loving you forever.

Your mama

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